New Collab Pinup Commission Auction up! Starting at $20 between me and :iconVegaEmperious:
Information and auction here: (All images are SFW. The auction winner can get G-XXX. some limitations apply.)
http://www.furbuy.com/auctions/1022890.html-------
TL:DR
1: Couch Hopping. 'Home' life = bad. Yay stress
2: Getting tonsils taken out in the future
3: I found out i have Sleep apnea because of tonsils blocking off part of airways. (answer to why i've not had much energy in the past i dunno how many years)
4: Trying not to fail my courses.
5: Air ways and tonsils continue to be minimally infected. Need to start daily sinus rinse.
6: Art and School work will be slow but i'm doing my best. thanks for being patient. Please note, comment or email if you have questions about commissions. Thanks.
Life has been turned upside down.
My house doesn't feel safe to live in so i'm spending my time couch hopping. Staying at friends houses for about a week now. Trying to keep my life on track enough to balance school and art and still have enough de-stressing time so i don't blow any more gaskets.
At least, on a positive note, all this hectic bullshit is causing me to get out a lot more. Been walking a lot and getting a lot more sunshine then i have in the past long while. I still miss my bed though and its starting to drive me a little crazy.
All of the food i had in the fridge at my 'house' is probably bad now. Yay for wasting money. I've gone back to visit a few times to spend time with my baby, Merle. (Cat.) I miss her so much. I still "see" her in my minds eye when i'm out and about. I'll see a black flash, or something dark out of the corner of my eye and think its her. I miss her purs and cuddles... I don't know how i can live without her... She means everything to me. She's not just a pet, she's family. She's like a sibling or a child. I adore her so much. I keep looking for the perfect toy for her... and i'm going to cry... shit.
So.. i guess to give you guys an update on the whole tonsillitis thing, i'm getting them taken out. It'll be sometime down the road but the paper work has been filled out already. The doctor saw my tonsils and told me right off the bat that regardless of the tonsillitis my tonsils are blocking part of my air ways and thats probably causing sleep apnea, which would explain why i'm always so fucking tired. When kids had energy when they were young, i was having a hard time keeping up. I felt like i was growing up faster because all the older kids i knew start loosing their vast amounts of hyper active energy later during school and i was feel more settled then most kids my age. Guh. Now it all makes sense. Makes sense why i fall asleep during 20 minute car rides. Why i'm ready to pass out on skytrain rides that are less the 15 minutes long. As well as the sleep apnea, the doctor stuck a friggen tube in my nose (had a camera on it) to show me what my air ways looked like. they are inflamed, horrid looking and no fucking wonder why i can never breath right. So i gotta go back to using the NeilMed sinus rinse again once i can get my packages from my 'house'. hopefully that will help strip the infection and keep things clearer and help me breath better. Which should, help improve this tiredness issue.
Trying to keep up with school is hard with the stress and this "ima fall asleep" every five minutes. Being tired gives me a horrid temp case of ADD. I can't focus on anything. Though, doing a lot of different things in a day helps a lot to tame my mind so when i do work on something important, i CAN do it. Its just short periods of time though. :/ Hopefully i can keep it up and get myself back on track enough so i don't fail my courses. I really cannot afford to take them over again >. >
I feel really lost. Its like i'm not living my life but someone elses. Or watching mine from afar. Its eary... a little frightening. I haven't felt this way since highschool and i never liked it them. So obviously i don't like it now. Trying to look at what happiness i have and keep at it :3 Not all things will be good in life, bu that doesn't mean i have to let them ruin me. Trying to keep my chin up even if its just to stop me from breaking out into tears. (I hate being seen in public with tears or anything like that.) So far, its been ok. Ups and downs, it comes and goes.